Do you feel really stuck in some area of your life, business, relationships, finances, health or body that no matter what you’ve done, you just haven’t been able to change?
If so, know you’re not alone. We’ve all been there and honestly, it’s a really tough place to be because when we feel this way, sometimes we just don’t know where to turn to get help.
If you feel like there’s an area that you’re ready to improve for good, here is a tool that you can use to create meaningful change in your life or career. It is one of the most powerful and easy to use methods I have found for creating profound lasting change. It comes from the Lazaris materials and is called the Four Steps to Change. Use these four steps and let me know what happens. It’s helped so many people create miracles and it can help you too!
Step #1–The first step of the change process is to recognize how you truly feel. This step entails being completely honest with yourself about how you feel about a situation you would like to change. It is important to go ahead and allow yourself to admit all of your emotions. Take a few deep breaths to help you connect with your body. If you feel sad or depressed go ahead and delve inside to see if you are also angry or furious about the situation. If you’ve been denying your true emotions because you think they aren’t good or healthy, know that if you haven’t found an effective process for being present with your feelings then you may be burying them more deeply inside you. This step of the change process is really effective at helping you connect to stubborn, hidden or buried emotions that may be having a bigger effect on you than you know.
During this first step, give yourself permission to feel all of your feelings. Remember your emotions are your guides. Be completely real about how hurt, angry, or upset you are at yourself or your family, friends, work, the world, or the universe. You do not need to tell others how you feel as you do this process, but it is completely essential that you allow yourself the safe emotional space to authentically feel any and all pain, anger, confusion, betrayal, sadness, or other emotions inside you. Telling the truth to yourself and visualizing expressing your true feelings to others will free up your energy to change your situation.
Step #2–The second step has two parts. The first part is to acknowledge who created the situation. Since you create your own reality or at least your experience of reality, the answer to this will always be you (you may have co-created the experience with someone else as well depending on the situation you are addressing). This is good news because it means you have the power to change what you do not like in your life and create a wonderful reality for yourself. Cultural anthropology shows that our beliefs about the world and ourselves create how we experience reality. On a personal level your beliefs are the lens through which you view the world. Even in very difficult personal or societal situations, you always have the power to choose what you believe about yourself and how you will feel. You can always choose to believe, feel, and affirm your inherent infinite self worth, value, and personal power. Even if someone else did something awful to you or is involved in some other way, you create how you feel about yourself and the interaction. You always have the power to choose what you believe about yourself and to choose what emotions you want to feel and this exercise will free you to truly support yourself, no matter what has happened to you.
The second part of step two is to acknowledge and let go of any limiting beliefs that you hold about you and the situation that might have prevented you from feeling free to liberate yourself from it. For most people there will be many beliefs. You want to uncover all the beliefs that make you feel sad, powerless, or stuck in your life. Write down all the beliefs you have about the situation that you want to change.
Some of the beliefs that may come up for you may be about the world or about other people such as “the world is a difficult place,” “people are mean” or “(someone) doesn’t truly care about me,” “only other people can have prosperity,” or “life is hard.” Beliefs about other people and the world are important to reveal, but it is necessary to get in touch with the beliefs about yourself as well.
Personal beliefs might be “I can’t have what I want,” “If I have too much success other people will be jealous,” “I created the situation to get attention,” “I’m afraid to let (someone) get close because I think they might abandon me,” “I deserve to suffer,” “I’ll never make enough money,” or “I got sick because I’m exhausted and it was the only way I would let myself rest.”
All of the above types of beliefs are illuminating and need to be recognized and transformed to live a healthy life and have a great business or career, however the most crucial beliefs to get in touch with are “I am” beliefs because they have such a huge impact on your identity in your life, health, business, and all your relationships—personal and professional. These beliefs are generally “I am not safe,” “I am not enough,” “I am not worthy,” “I’m not lovable,” “I am guilty,” “I am dangerous,” “I am bad,” “I am wrong,” or something similar.
Each time you do this exercise try to come up with at least ten beliefs, two of which are “I am” beliefs. Journal or breathe on how these beliefs make you feel. Allow yourself to feel all of the discomfort that your beliefs have caused you and then completely let it go. Now that you are conscious of these beliefs and their effects in your life you can choose to release them.
A big insight that often comes up for women who really go deep with this exercise to reveal the beliefs that have kept them struggling with their success, health or happiness is “my power is dangerous.” Accordingly, if they fully stand in their power then the belief “I am dangerous” can emerge. As women we are socialized to be givers and healers so if this is occurring within you, you may be sabotaging your success to unconsciously prevent your self from having too much power. The good news is, none of these beliefs are true and by doing these four steps you can let them go!
Step #3–Step three is forgiving yourself and if you would like, also forgiving anyone else involved in the situation. When you look at the beliefs you hold about the situation that you want to change, you will see that your feelings and actions were appropriate based on what you believed. For example, if someone believes that she did not deserve success or love or that she was not enough, it makes sense that she would not easily be able to create a successful business, receive love or prosperity, or even stand up for herself in relationships or in her career.
Whatever you’ve just revealed to yourself in this exercise, you can go ahead and forgive yourself completely, knowing that you are now going to create empowered beliefs that will allow you to change your life. Feel forgiveness and love for yourself and others throughout your body.
Step #4–Step four is to create change by establishing new beliefs and taking new actions to support your new beliefs. You are worthy of love, health, vitality, abundance, and joy–everybody is even though many of us don’t always remember this about ourselves. Go ahead and adopt this and other empowering beliefs such as I am enough, I am worthy, I am innocent, I am free, I am lovable, I am safe, I deserve abundance, I am healthy and whole, and I am powerful & my being in my power helps the whole world.
Breathe these new beliefs into your body. Identify any actions you took in the past that reinforced your old disempowering beliefs. For example, if you believed you were not safe, you may have withdrawn in public settings, became easily defensive, not been able to promote your business, or consistently focused on other people to draw attention away from yourself. Begin to do actions that are opposite of what you have habitually done. Taking new actions will help you see that you are safe, worthy, or enough just the way you are.
Using the Four Steps to Change regularly will help you supercharge your inner growth like never before and create huge transformation in your life, business, health, finances and relationships. The truth will set you free and you’ll be able to be more present and enjoy your life.
Please share below what area of your life or career you want to create profound positive change in. I would love to hear how you are going to use this tool to create a life full of more love, fun, joy, abundance, health and power.